Chadwick (chadscam) wrote,

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I'll tell you why I dont wanna know where you are.

I got a joke I've been dying to tell you.
Silent kid is looking down and back beyond to make a noise I've kept so quiet.
Kept it from you; it's been so long.

I'm not whats missing from your life now.
I could never be the puzzle pieces.
Say the gardens drunken just to see what you could stand.
Before you could do as the devil pleases.
Give up the fame that you love.

No one deserves it.

The first time I saw you I knew it would never last.
I'm not half of what I wish I was.
I'm so angry, I dont think it'll ever pass.
That was bad news for you just because I never knew to hurt you.


Dear Love:

I don't want to know where you are. I have been trying to find you amidst all of the confusion to no avail. Love, why do you hurt me so much? I can't live without you but with you I want to die.

Love, I've got a joke I've been dying just to tell you. It's taken someone of insignificance to make me realize just who you are and how you have hurt me. That someone has awakened something for only I have know. Something I never meant to be discovered.

For you, Love, I'm not what you have missing in you "life" now. I never was and never will be. You have closed me out for the last time and I promise to never let you back in. I can never fit into place correctly with you for you are as random as the puzzle pieces strewn about on the table before me where i write.

You can tell me things which only we could understand on behalf of one another, but I don't even want that. You have lied to me for the last time and as promised, you will never be in the life of mine again. You may have been able to lie to me and tell me what I wanted to hear, but faith is on my side. I found out how you really felt about me and you will never EVER make me feel that way again. Love, you are the one at loss now. You chose your life and ways over mine - so give up what you thought you had with me. Give up the fact of ever being loved by me again. Give up what you have nourished upon until now.

No one, especially you, deserves me. God made me for that special person which would make me the happiest man in the world. He made you to be the loneliest.

From the moment we first spoke on the phone to the moment we first met, I knew we would never be compatible. Our differences were as clear as night from day. Granted, I'm not the best thing that can be found in this world, but I'm me. I am more than you ever was and that you ever will be. I know how to love and when to show it. I know how to care for, which, you lacked. I'm so mad at you right now it will never go away. I am more mad at me though for submitting myself to you. For actually trying to make us something which I knew would not last from the very start of what we had.

You know what Love, you are truely the one at loss here. I cherished the ground you walked on and you took advantage of me when I was least aware. If only I had taken the first step never to have met you, you would at least still have the ability to have been loved me the way I did you once you grew up. This is the point where I should appologize as I did in every argument we ever had - but you're not worth it.


PS - May the best of your days be the worst of my nights.
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